Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
