i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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