I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
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so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
She bit a glass in half.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
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She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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