yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Randomize
