Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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