Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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