Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
