yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize
