Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
