So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
