her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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