Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
