Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
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