im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
