That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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