"it" just moved
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
