I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
He shit in the fireplace
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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