So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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