I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Randomize