Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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