I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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