i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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