Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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