Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
A bitchslap is in order.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
