I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
