i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Mom said you looked used
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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