we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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