My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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