Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level