Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Shitshow foam night was such a success
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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