Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
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I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
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Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???