forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
i need an iv and a liver transplant
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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