Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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