Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
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