Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
