now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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