Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I have fence marks all over my body
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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