My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
