Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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