so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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