Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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