dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Randomize