Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
