please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
