just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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