Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I yelled at your uterus for you.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
