How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
