No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
