If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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