dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
