This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
