I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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