normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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