It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
