There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
