she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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