We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
