OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
