you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
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i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
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