there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
