I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Randomize
