Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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